Vows Guide: how to make your personal vows amazing.
As a celebrant, I see the beauty and individuality in every couple’s wedding vows. There’s something magical about two people standing up in front of their loved ones, sharing promises and expressions of love. Whether you're a couple who loves making each other laugh or one that thrives on quiet, intimate gestures, your vows are an opportunity to express everything you cherish about one another. Here’s some inspiration to help make your vows a memorable reflection of your relationship.
Go Big – and Small
Wedding vows are a perfect chance to bring up both the big, heart-thumping reasons you love your partner, as well as those everyday moments that bring a smile to your face. Sure, let them know about the huge, beautiful things you adore about them – maybe their strength, resilience, or compassion. But to make it personal, highlight the small things, too: how they always save you the last piece of cake, or know just how you like your morning coffee. These little nods add an extra layer of intimacy and depth, giving a fuller picture of your love story and making your partner feel seen.
Don’t Be Afraid of Humour
If humour is part of your relationship, then weave it into your vows! Share a goofy story or a funny little habit you both have. Maybe it’s that secret look you exchange when your favourite song comes on, or the way they mispronounce a word that’s become a private joke. And remember, it doesn’t have to be funny if humour isn’t your style – there will be plenty of moments for laughter throughout your day.
Real Stories Make It Real
Rather than just describing your spouse in abstract terms, bring it to life with real examples. Tell the story of that first weekend away when they surprised you with breakfast in bed, or the time they stayed up late to help you finish a project. Specific stories make your vows memorable and provide a true window into what makes your relationship unique.
Imagine Their Perspective
When crafting your vows, it can be meaningful to think about what might resonate most with your partner. Imagine their perspective on your relationship and what they might most want to hear from you. This is a chance to show them that you really see them – their quirks, their kindness, their courage. Thinking of what might make your partner feel loved and appreciated is a great guide as you write.
Get on the Same Page (Without Spoiling the Surprise)
You don’t need to share your vows with each other beforehand, but having a chat about length and tone is a smart idea. If one of you writes a lengthy romantic epic and the other pens a quick five-liner, it can feel a little mismatched. Get a sense of how long you both plan to speak and what sort of tone you’re going for – maybe even agree on a word count. It’s a simple way to help make your vows feel balanced.
Don’t Hold Back
This is the moment to let your heart lead. Lay it all out there, and don’t worry about being “too” loving or too honest. This is your chance to express everything you feel, and your partner deserves to hear it all.
To help you get started, here are some sentence starters…
Pick a few sentence starters from each section. Put them together in this order and your vows will really be taking shape!
Beginning:
“The moment I knew I wanted to marry you was…”
“My favourite memory with you is…”
“I fell in love with you when…”
“The first time I saw you…”
Middle:
“I have learned from you that…”
“Thank you for…”
“I love the way you…”
“I am so grateful for the way you…”
“To me, marriage means…”
“What makes you unique is…”
“Together, we have achieved…”
“Together, we have overcome…”
End:
“With you, I know our future will be…”
“I can’t wait to…”
“I promise to laugh at…”
“I promise to tell you…”
“I promise we will…”
“I promise to always…”
Use these tips and prompts to create vows that feel like a true to your relationship. For many people the exchange of Vows is a highlight of their wedding day, so just remember it’s not about writing skill, it’s all about heart.
